- I hate crying but I like to when you are there so you can hold me and tell me it's okay.
- I know I tell you I would die without you all the time; well it's true.
- When you say you're tired and I smile and tell you to go to sleep I absolutely hate it when you do.
- Every time I hurt I have the urge to do everything you told me not to.
- I don't like fighting but I pick them all the time.
- When I'm watching movies I almost always think of you, even if it has nothing to do with love.
- You're the only reason I'm still alive.
- When I'm upset I do dangerous things and hope I get hurt because I would rather feel physical pain over emotional.
- When you say "so much" after I love you I get the butterflys in my tummy.
- I don't like to sleep because I don't want to oversleep in the morning and miss it when you wake up.
- I miss you all the time.
- I'm never satisfied with anything;unless you fix something for me.
- I like to find the worst excuses to see you and when you make one up I smile for like twenty minutes.
- I don't like it when I'm not yours because I hate realizing that I'm alone.
- I like wrestling with you because I like pretending I'm stronger than you.
- I love watching television with you because we always joke about the weirdest things.
- I think your mom hates me.
- I love it when you say I love you when we're in the middle of a conversation about nothing.
- Even though I hate being picked up I love with when you pick me up and kiss me.
- You really are everything to me and I hope you know that.
- Even though we both complain I like it how we have less time together because I love it when you miss me.
- I wish we could leave everything behind, because if I could only have you I would be happy forever.
- Honestly, I wouldn't chose anyone over you.
- I hate it when I can't help.
- I say I wish things could be perfect but now I hope they never are because when they aren't it shows how much we love eachother.
- I don't feel like getting out of bed if I don't get to see you that day.
- I love it when you call me baby.
- I love it when you hold me then act really sad when I let go.
- I wish everyone wouldn't be so nosey about us.
- I love it when I'm upset and tell you what someone said about us and you say "it's alright, they don't uderstand anything."
- I love it how we can't look at eachother for ten minutes without kissing.
- I honestly love it how everyone stares when we kiss or hold hands.
- I could never get bored with you.
- I wish I wasn't afraid of roller coasters so I could enjoy them with you.
- I hate disappointing you so much.
- I cry over everything.
- I love to make you happy.
- I love loving you.
- I really do not like the taste of meat.
- I would rather sleep on the floor than my bed.
- I hate being shy because I love being outgoing.
- I like my walls to be colorful and I think white is too boring.
- My best friend and I never fight, and I would cry if we did.
- Pac man is my all time favorite game.
- I wish it would rain all the time.
- I think tan people with blonde hair are ugly.
- I never eat but I'm hungry all the time.
- I don't like to share.
- I wish I played soccer.
- I wish I was one of those people that were happy all the time.
- I'm a cude person and I make fun of people all the time.
- I wish I didn't have extreme anxiety or panic attacks.
- No matter what happens I always blame myself.
- I always wonder what it would like to be a dog.
- I hate saying goodbye.
- I hate letting anyone see me cry except for Joey.
- Sometimes I get so scared.
- I love being home alone but I'm scared to take a shower without someone home.
- I like it that people never agree with eachother and there's always a problem in the world.
- It keeps things interesting.
- I wish we could stay at absolute peace though.
- I love gore.
- When I was little I thought my life was so terrible that I thought I should get fairy odd parents like Timmy did.
- I have horrible stadge fright but I wish I could sing on stadge for the rest of my life.
- I wonder all the time if you're thinking about me.
- I absolutely hate it when people cuss all the time.
- I wish I could do better in school.
- I wish my parents were proud of me.
- I'd go insane if I were blind or deaf.
- I would be scared to death.
- I like it when you tell me not to cry.
- It really helps.
- I don't like it when you ask me what's wrong.
- It makes me cry harder.
- I wish it was impossible to yell.
- I absolutely hate being yelled at.
- I like it when my dad talks about going back to work, only because that means he'll be away more.
- I wish the easy button was real but if it were what would we have to be proud of?
- I wish you were here.
- I wish I could buy you a million christmas presents because your smile will mean so much.
- It means the world to me when I'm the one to make you happy.

Over the last three days everything has been going down hill for me, really. To be absolutely honest, I make a lot of mistakes. I have too many things about myself that make every single little problem I have more difficult than it should be. I over react, think too much, care too much, worry too much, and I'm stubborn. Those are my biggest problems. I can't be a good girlfriend to Joey if I act rediculous all the time. I've been working on it though. We won't be together till I fix these things about myself because I hurt him. All I want is for him to be happy and I'd do anything to make him that way. It hurts me to hurt him.
I cried harder than I have in a long time earlier today. Absolutely broke down while I had family over. I took a shower to calm myself like I normally would and that didn't even help. I just cried in the shower till it got too cold and I didn't want to shiver. I don't want to bother my family about the same ol problem as always, so I didn't. I'm going to stay awake all night because I don't want to try to sleep and be disappointed or aggrivated when I can't. So fuck it.
Besides that, I'm watching family guy.
Cool.
In every blogpost I have I'll have a list of good things, and the brightsides. There are always brightsides to things and I refuse to be depressed.
So brightsides, I will get better and will be with Joey. Christmas is in nine days and I'm excited to see all of my family I haven't seen all year. I'll be getting a new camera soon to work more on my photography. Jake makes me laugh every single day, and makes me happy for at least that time when Im extremely upset.
That's really the only things I see at the moment. Thumbs up for those. Whoop.
I'm going to play my DS, and kick some ass on my new game.

Hey strangers.
It's been a while.
Alright so, I'll just say everything that's been going on in one big jumble!
Christmas is coming up and i have fifty dollars for loads of peoples presents. This year should be fun. I'll just have to stop spending my money on silly thins and start saving up.
I've dyed my hair about three or four times in these last two weeks and I'm getting it dyed again in about an hour. Ill put up a picture in my next post.
My mom and I plan on getting a new cat soon; a black one. I'm excited!
Joey and I broke up about three weeks ago. Now we're together but not boyfriend and girlfriend til Christmas eve when he plans on asking me out, so he says. Complicated yet Romantic?
I'm impatient, that's all I have to say about that.
I failed two classes this semester and I'm going to be pissed if I have summer shool. I'm getting my act together next semester.
I lost internet on the computer in my room. It's really messed up somehow. Hints the reason I haven't posted in ages. I have this handy iPod though so this idea of posting off of it just now hit me.
I've been sick for the past week and a half! The weather in Oklahoma suddenly dropped down a lot one day. I don't like it this cold if we don't even get snow too. Hmm.
Saddly those are the only things appropriate and inteteresting I have to write at the moment.
I'll post more often now that I can.
Keep up.
:)