Darling read my lips, we're going down like sinking ships.
Kayla.Jellyfish.Bears. Photography.Night Owl.Sixteen. Piano.Fucking shit up. I made this blog for myself and no one else. I don't care if you read or not~ Tumblr Flickr DeviantART
falleneffect@hotmail
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Thursday
Sunday;
After that horrible Friday I last posted about was over, I sat around all Saturday doing nothing. Sunday I woke up feeling depressed and didn't feel like even talking to anyone or going anywhere. I was tired of everything. Tori had called me though, pretty much five minutes after I woke up asking if I wanted to go to her dad's house with her and help sell her puppies. Her dog had puppies a while back and they were old enough to finally sell. Which was, of course, sad to have to see them go. I did miss Tori and the puppies though and I just had to see them one last time. It would give me something to do besides moping around. So I decided to go. I got my lazy self up, took a shower, and got dressed. Tori randomly showed up at my house and I wasn't ready so I went out looking terrible, but at that moment I could care less about how I looked.
So we went to gather the puppies from the house and we drove to the corner of Reasors and stood around in the cold for maybe three or four hours. For the last hour I sat in the car holding my favorite puppy out of the bunch, Eyore. Her dad came up and said the people that wanted him was there. It was very very sad. Eyore had the saddest look of them all. That's how he got his adorable name.
After all the puppies that needed to be sold were sold we ended up going to Tori's moms house with the two puppies that weren't taken. Luna was the one puppy Tori got to keep and Sadey was going to Texas the next day to her owner. We gave them both bathes and let them run around the living room. After all of that jazz I went home and went straight to bed.
Monday;
A boring normal day that had no point to it whats so ever.
Tuesday;
I'd say was one of the worst days of my life. Out of many. Joey and I had big fights over about three different things. The day started off perfect and lunch came and being myself, I ruined the day. Not very surprising, I do it a lot. I regret the way I acted and I wished that day had never happened. It was ridiculous. I didn't eat. I couldn't breathe correctly. I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't do anything. When night came nothing was better. I couldn't sleep. Everything I hate happened in one day. I hate being scared over things and I hate crying.
I honestly try to be perfect all the time. I try to fix every little thing that's bad about me and it stresses me out even more than I was before. It's confusing and complicated and I wish I wasn't like that.
Anyways,
I also hate stupid teachers that are insanely stealthy sneak up on you when you least expect it, and take your phone away. I was mad.
My dad had to come up to the school and get it for me. I guess that's a good thing though because if I had to deal with the lady at the desk again I probably would have cursed at her. I already wasn't in a good mood and she never has a good additude with anyone and she has a stupid tone in her voice that makes you want to scream at her.
Wednesday;
Things got better. I was better. He was better. I was happy and so was he. He got to come over after school and it was great, for the most part. I cried. Shocker. We ended up having a lot of fun though and I could relax again and just be happy as I ever am with him knowing things will be okay and that he's okay. Nothing special happened that day though except that we watched a movie in Law class and I got candy from Matt. Whoop.
Today;
Was confusing. I really have nothing to say about today. I thought I had more to say about other days, so much has happened. The way I'm putting them makes it seem as if nothing has and my life is boring as fuck. No.
I also wish Jake would get on more. He needs to give me a smile when no one else will.
Halloween is comming up. Pretty much one day from now. It seems like it's far away but I guess it's not. I don't actually have any plans made because I have no clue what's going on. It's like this every year when every says they're having a Halloween party and it never happends. It's stupid and I'm not planning on going to anyones party that wont happen. I only hope Joey can come and be with me on my favorite day of the year but I doubt he can. If he can't Tori will just come over and we'll walk around neighborhoods for hours. She'll probably bring Richie which is cool. My family is having a party and I'm not exactly sure if I even want to be home Halloween night. I'll sleep on the streets. Yeah.
I don't even know what to look forward to anymore.
I've been let down a lot lately. It's hard to be in a good mood right now.
Even harder when you can't sleep it off because your thoughts just wont let you sleep.
They wont even let me concentrate when I'm awake.
ConfusedConfusedConfused.
Saturday
We were planning on seeing Paranormal Activities at 8:45. We sat around at Tori's house for a while and watched The Hills Have Eyes. When time came we went to the movies but we ended up being too late and they gave us a ticket for a later showing of the movie. The next showing was at 10:20, in an hour! We had to sit around the movie theater for a while. Finally time, we went to give the guy our tickets. He let Richie in with no problems then Tori and I got up to him and asked for our ID's. Rated R movie. Awesome. We were angry and just decided to get a refund on our tickets and see another movie. We ended up getting tickets for Cirque Du Freak, which was another 30 minute wait. We sat in the line for seating for a while. I was very tired by then.
After the movie got out I had noticed I had three texts from my dad and once missed call. Which was horrible. I called back and he went total hulk on me, telling me to get home nooowww! Telling me I was grounded and saying I had an additude. I had barely said a word and when I did he hung up on me. I felt like crying knowing how much I would get scolded out when I got home and being grounded and not being able to see Joey, but I didn't. We all went outside to wait for our ride. We waited for about 15 minutes in 38 degree weather. On the way back home we just had to get pulled over. Another 10 minutes gone by. Then we just had to take Richie home first. Another 10 minutes gone by. I finally got home at 1:30 am. Shockingly my dad pretty much ignored me. I went to my room and discovered hayley, my hamster, missing. I spent a few minutes throwing everything around in my room in anger looking for her. After I gave up I took pain killers and just went to sleep without getting changed or anything.
This morning I woke up three hours later than I had expected to. I missed Joey's goodmorning/goodbye texts because he woudn't be able to talk to me at all today. He was upset. I've felt bad about it all day and haven't been able to explain anything to him. Not like it would make anything better by saying I slept in so late because I was out till one this morning. Anyways, I feel sick as ever today. I guess being so out of it takes my mind off of all the bad things. I still haven't found hayley. My closet looks a reck. Ugh, whatever.
I hope tomorrow is better than today. No more disasters.
Cirque Du Freak;
On the other hand;
I'm blogging this crap about movies also because that's all I've been doing lately is going to the movies. Besides these books I've adored. My favorite books were put into movies so I had to say something. Heres the final end of my blog. Whoop.
Sunday
This weekend has been horrible. Not the way I planned it to be. I'm terribly bored and I actually forgot that I even had a blog. I don't feel like blogging but I'm a loser having only two posts so I decided to type this small one.
I'm about to go to Tori's and write a song. Maybe. Hopefully that doesn't get ruined too.
Nothing has happend except it's getting freezing cold now. I hate the fact that my window is broken so my room is just an iceland. Happy about fall and the cold weather though. I hate the heat.
and Blahblahblahblah.
I'm about to go to Tori's and write a song. Maybe. Hopefully that doesn't get ruined too.
Nothing has happend except it's getting freezing cold now. I hate the fact that my window is broken so my room is just an iceland. Happy about fall and the cold weather though. I hate the heat.
and Blahblahblahblah.
I gots new kicks! (: I really like them. I didn't exactly want the color white though, but it's alright I guess. This picture isn't the best for showing off my shoes but I could get a better picture. Deal! I was trying to get my pants in the photo with them. In my opinion bright white shoes look really bad with light blue pants. I plan on just wearing my back pants with them. They'll stick out more but oh well. I tried on boots today at Payless where I went to get these shoes. I decided boots just look wierd on me. I'm better off with converse and vans. Today went better than I thought it would. I never slept last night. I couldn't sleep no matter what I did. I couldn't get my mind off of things. I felt helpless, worthless, horrible, and slightly depressed. I'd never cried that hard in my life. I went the whole day without sleep and I feel great. I finished all of my school work around noon. I took a shower, ate lunch, and sat on the couch for a while texting Joey. I never got to see him but that's alright. I wasn't expecting to see him anyways. My mom's boyfriends family came over to eat dinner with us. I honestly don't like them. They're very loud country folks...heh. Although there was an adorable two year old girl named Alexis here. She was really shy. It was fun having her around at least. We played with my kitty Tigger for a while. We ate. They left. My mom and I went to Payless. What's sad is that's the most fun all weekend. Running around a shoe store by myself. The lady their complimented on my really crappy ring too. I don't know why she would think its nice. It's old and banged up. I just don't have any other rings and I have to have a ring on or it bothers me. Anyways... it was nice of her. I went home and talked to Jake for a while and figured out what I'm wearing tomorrow.
I'm not looking forward to dealing with Teacher's or just people in general but I'll get through the day. Joey is supposed to walk home with me. Hopefully.
I plan on sleeping tonight though. I feel like I can sleep for once. Things are getting better. Goodnight.
Saturday
Today I decided to start this blog finally. I've thought about it before but I've been lazy. I have a million things to say but when I get around to this I go blank. One thing that happened today that was pretty odd and made me think was that someone that I didn't know asked me what was bothering me. I didn't reply but I thought about it a lot. There are so many things that are actually bothering me. I run into these things every single day. Today I ran into the worst problem that I always have. I create a problem with someone and try to fix it but I wind up making it worse than it was before. I feel helpless when I can't do anything about it and it's also my fault that there's even a problem. I think I could fix myself in a lot of ways too. I get stressed out and end up taking it out on someone when I don't notice it. Another thing that I run into that bothers me is people that need to have drama in their life. If they don't have a problem in their life they make a problem. If they can't make a problem they bring up something from the past and make it dramatic. I just don't waste my time with those people. One more thing I'll write about that I run into is teachers. It's unfair that if they don't like you they can lower your grade just because they have the power. It happens and it's dumb. I know you should respect a teacher because of what all they went through to be there to teach you. But why should I respect them if they don't respect me?
I'm off to write a song though and get my mind off of this day. It hasn't been great and I need a distraction.
p.s. I'm sharing this blog with a friend. It will be blogs from each of us every once in a while.